TV, movies & music didn't ruin my children

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There's no such thing as bad TV, just TV that I'm not interested in watching. So, I watch a lot of TV and always let my children watch it, too.

It would impress many if I explained that I watched news networks and PBS. However, I watch "Dancing With the Stars" and "Project Runway." I'm very familiar with MTV's "Road Rules-Real World Challenge" series. If it entertains me, I'll watch it when I have time.

My older kids watched just about anything they wanted on TV. I even took the boys, when they were 6 and 4 years of age respectively, to see "Platoon." It was the violently epic, award-winning Vietnam War movie. I wanted to see it on my day off and guessed they'd be fine seeig it, too.

My oldest sons are grown men now, so the result are in from my allowing them to watch everything on TV while freeing them to sit through R-rated movies, too.

They kids are alright. They aren't violent and they don't curse with any particular frequency. They treat women with a great deal of respect.

What other pitfalls have they avoided that are associated with kids who watch too much TV or watch the wrong movies?

They didn't quit school, in fact they did really well in school. They've never committed a crime. They respect authority. Looking back, I can't really think of a single time either of them caused me or their mom any problem.

My youngest kids are watching just as much TV, eating just as much junk food and playing more video games than their much older brothers did.

They're non-violent and do as they're told. My 13-year-old daughter causes a little more stir than her 15-year-old brother, but I'm told that's a "girl thing." And, for now, I'm still trying to figure out what a "girl thing" is.

My 15-year-old son responds to authority so completely and without question that I remind him that he can think a second before he does exactly what adults he doesn't know tell him to do.

He actually chose to attend a private Catholic high school in Napa because the institution billed itself for having rules and regulations that are administered impartially. He spent a good year there, but decided the rules are no more black and white at the tiny school than anywhere else in the world. The rules are bent, twisted and applied differently to suit situations. He's headed to a public high school this year.

My daughter spends hours watching the Disney and Nickelodeon shows that, theoretically, ruin young girls.

Her personality stems more from her being an outgoing kid with a huge vocabulary and her parents' temperment than it does from her watching "Hannah Montana." When I have tried to insist she's acting out like a character on a TV show, she becomes very upset and insists her raising hell has nothing to do with TV. She can become angry as quickly as her mother and argue endlessly as well as I can.

I imagine that television and movies can have a negative influence on kids. It just hasn't had a negative influence on my kids and they've been drowning in all forms of media through their entire lives.

There's no logical reason they've turned out OK while there are caucasian kids from Eureka to Napa to Vacaville to Roseville walking around dressing and talking like extras from an MTV special about living in Detroit or South Central Los Angeles.

That reminds me, I don't understand why caucasian kids try to mimic the representation of inner-city black America that they see on TV. I never see black kids of color trying to act and sound like they were born and raised in suburban, white America. Odd isn't it?

I've always made sure I watched the TV shows and films my kids watch. That might've helped them understand that the stories and characters they enjoy onscreen have nothing to do with how they live their lives in the real world.

My youngest son started telling "Family Guy" stories, so I started watching "Family Guy." My daughter started watching "Hannah Montana" and so did I. As mentioned, my kids have watched R-rated movies -- but, they've watched them with me and, usually, with me holding the remote control in case I need to stop or fast-forward the movie and say, "This is bad. We don't need to see this."

The result? Well, when I took my younger boy to see the remake of the 1970s violent, crime drama "Walking Tall" some years back, he complained during a fight scene that, "This seems too violent ... I don't like the fighting."

I've never done anything that any parent couldn't do. I just figured a dad should know what his kids are watching and listening to -- although, it's easier to just blame the media outlets for not providing good role models for my children.

I don't think even some very caring and concerned parents know what their kids watch and listen to these days. That, I think, is how I keep stumbling on suburban high school athletes from rural areas who talk with a sort of ghetto drawl. It's why I see girls wearing clothes that would be too much for a stripper, but just right for Rihanna or Beyonce.

Nobody said it didn't take time and committment to be a parent. But, if I can sit through "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody" and "America's Best Dance Crew" -- or record "Tosh 2.0" to watch with my youngest son -- any parent can do it.

Sure, the media's a problem ... but, my kids are my problem and I guess I just made sure my kids never became somebody else's problem.

(Ted Sillanpaa can be reached at tsillanpaa1956@gmail.com)