I dreamed of marrying a beautiful actress or playing centerfield for the New York Yankees.
Most dreams don't come. Well, the A-level dreams rarely come true. Dreams of the kid at Baskin-Robbins tossing an extra scoop of ice cream in the chocolate sundae come true. Getting a job in a profession that interests you is an achievable dream.
The big dreams, though, they usually remain dreams through your entire life.
I've been living an A-level, top-of-the-heap dream for the last 3, 4 weeks. Call me, Mr. Lucky.
I have two Comcast cable digital video recorders connected to two separate televisions. One set is a hi-defintion TV with amazing sound quality. The other is a standard 32-inch color TV.
Watching a hi-def TV is an experience. But, I've positioned the 32-inch set in the living room so that, if I lay on the futon, the afternoon sun hits me just right.
Since I had what I'm starting to feel is the good fortune of losing my job, my Saturdays have changed. I'm not working late 5 nights a week. I'm not spending time dreading going back to the salt mine. No column to write after the game. My Saturdays, with the exception of the hour devoted to my daughter's soccer matches, are my Saturdays. And, control of my Saturdays is connected to the twin DVRs, the two bitchin' TVs and sports on cable.
There was surely a time, although I don't specificially remember it, when I sat home eating a bag of potato chips wishing I could watch more than one college football game on a Saturday. I know that there were many Saturdays in my youth when I dreamed of being able to watch the baseball playoff game without missing the big college football game -- or vice versa.
The twin DVRS, the TVs and my mastery of the menu of Comcast cable sports offerings allows one of my A-level dreams to come true. Remember, I really like sports and I really dig watching games on TV. Oh, wait ... one other magical thing of the DVRs. I've got two and each allows me to record two programs at one time. Got it?
Good.
So, the other day ... like any old Saturday in October ... I recorded Arizona-USC and Oregon State-Cal on the 32-inch TV in the living room. That's two pretty interesting Pac-10 football games I got to see without missing Kentucky-LSU ... which was on CBS directly opposite Arizona-USC on ABC. And, I didn't have to miss the Notre Dame loss to Boston College...which aired on NBC opposite Arizona-USC and Kentucky-LSU.
Wait. It becomes even more like what, I imagine, multiple orgasms one after the other after the other would feel like.
I'm trying not to miss any of the baseball playoffs. So, I recorded the Indians-Red Sox game on the hi-def set. I'm watching it right now -- it's about time for the first pitch. Well, it's 9:07 p.m. PDT and I've cranked up the recording on the hi-def TV. The game's probably over. I'm just now starting to watch, though.
God. It's a dream! Four football ... wait, I'm recording TCU-Stanford on Fox Sports Net channel. So, make it five football games and a big league baseball game. Gawdamit! It doesn't get better. I watched Hawaii rally to beat San Jose State in person, with my sons, on Friday night in San Jose. And, today, I'm catching all this stuff on TV without leaving my house!
Except ... I get to leave the house. I went shopping. I fixed the Super Nintendo game system that was marketed two years before my youngest son was born. The kids and I went to the gym. Short of that attractive blonde on the treadmill offering to follow me home and pleasure me any way I liked, I can't imagine a better Saturday.
There's an art to living a big-time dream. You know how people win the lottery, then squander it? They can't handle the embarrassment of riches. I'm not going to wreck what are becoming magical Saturdays for lack of a plan.
I watched the first half of Notre Dame live. That's hard because I couldn't fast forward through commercials. My youngest son likes Notre Dame, so enjoying it with him offset the bitch that is watching commercials.
After a trip to Circuit City, I watched the first half of the recording of Kentucky-LSU. I fast-forwarded through commercials and, here's the key, through the dead time between plays. You don't need to hear what announcers say when the teams are huddling. You only need to see the action. I will stop and watch key replays.
OK. It took about a half-hour to watch LSU's first half. Then, I watched Notre Dame rally, then let the game get away against B.C. Boom! Boom! If I fall into a blowout or a game I deem over, I'll watch it at the slowest fast-forward speed. You can see a lot.
I got up and made dinner for the boy and myself -- as I was watching Arizona-USC. The game started at 12:30 p.m. I watched the whole thing, sans ads and the halftime show, in the 90 minutes between 5 p.m. and 6:30. USC wins! (They're wildly overrated.)
Boom! I'm back in front of the hi-def TV to watch LSU. It's key to prioritize. I know I made a mistake, but I chose to make Cal my low priority. I didn't think Oregon State could win, but I wanted to see what happened still. I took a break from Kentucky-LSU to hit the health club. As I was on the glyder with my daughter, some bonehead shouted, "Cal lost! Hey, Charlie! Cal just lost!"
Dammit! My elaborate plan and this jackass ruined what would've been my favorite game by telling Charlie that Oregon State upset Cal. That would've been the cherry on top of my football-on-TV sundae. Seeing the upset of the No. 2 that almost nobody else would've watched! And, then you have the accompanying story about how I was up until 2:30 a.m. in front of the TV watching a Pac-10 game and everything. What story's Charlie telling?
"Yeah...I was cleaning the staircase at work and Bruce told me Cal lost! I didn't see it or anything."
Doesn't Bruce know that there are machines that record games and that there are people in the club exercising literally in breathless anticipation of watching a game they've recorded?
I didn't shout, "I was recording that!" I should have. I cursed the dumb shit under my breath and, sadly, my daughter's vocabularly's just a little more blue as a result.
I'll have to watch the Oregon State win, but no rush now.
That pushed the baseball game up on the docket. It's on right now. See, you have to avoid learning the outcome, or even partial scores, from games you're recording. Watch half of one 12:30 p.m. game, then watch half of another ... and you probably won't see a score from either that ruins the experience. I've trained myself not to watch that running line of scores across the bottom of the TV. My family members are trained not to blurt out scores...sort of...my son Trent called with a "Happy birthday" phone message that included, "I just watched LSU-Kentucky and..." I deleted the message. I hope he didn't say, "...and my house burned down can you come and get me in San Jose?"
I like to turn on the TV, turn down the sound so I can turn to whichever game without catching even a hint of what's going on in the game that's actually on TV. God, you just turn the damn TV on with no plan and things are FUBAR in a hurry. It makes sense. Really.
At any rate, I've watched 2 1/2 football games that all started at exactly the same time. I saw two -- start to finish. I still don't know who won the LSU game and won't until I I finish watching. Fox isn't going to give college football scores on the baseball game. They just don't. Honest.
Gosh. I'm in heaven. I remember when it was a treat to see O.J. Simpson's USC football team play UCLA on an old black-and-white TV. Now? Every weekend's a spectatorgasm. The games just come in waves. It's exhausting and exhilarating. (Did I mention you don't have to watch the commericals?) It feels so good...you take a little break, catch your breath and you just want to do it all over again.
Big dreams come true, too, sometimes.
TS
