My daughter and I spent the afternoon at an indoor rock-climbing facility. She's quite the climber and I'm a willing participant in anything she does and I love, in the process, to people-watch.
There was a couple there, college-aged kids...in their 20s. They were climbers. The guy was showing off a little, but the girl was really trying to improve her climbing skills. If I could climb 12 feet up and 25 feet sideways, like a spider, I guess I'd show off, too. I'll credit him for being discrete. Pnly a tested people-watcher would've noticed.
It wasn't what the guy did that struck me, that was telling. It was how the young woman listened so intently. She was, literally, wide-eyed and hanging on every word he said. She took his advice in the most positive possible way and tested it in earnest on the wall.
You can tell a lot about a relationship by how one person reacts to advice, or constructive criticism, from the other. She really likes that guy and he cares for her.
Two really good climbers, in a rocknasium filled with little kids and relative beginners, would tend to try to attract attention. People are going to naturally look around. I was trying to make sure I was doing my part as rope monitor correctly, so I checked out everybody else. My daughter was watching other people climb to see what they did that she could copy. That attention that comes merely with being in public often leads to people wanting to attract attention. Heaven knows the young couple could've attracted attention with just a little loud conversation, maybe some laughter...and their spider-like ability to climb. She is a dancer, I'm almost sure. Just the way she carried herself, you know?
The young guy and woman didn't do anything or make a sound intended to attract attention. They almost whispered, really. Moreover, they didn't look around at anyone else or pay the least attention to anyone looking at them. They were totally into each other and the process of climbing. Don't you hate people who look around to make sure people are paying them attention?
It struck me as really nice to see two quiet, happy young people enjoying each other as well as an interest they share. You don't see that very often. People of that age group tend to walk through life, through relationships, making all sorts of noise. They don't know what to say, so...they make noise. I can spend a few minutes around a couple and tell you their speech habits. ("Yo...dude...and then...this chick says...") If you're talking so loud I can hear you, you really aren't talking to the person you're with.
Cool young couple.
My daughter climbed and climbed and I figured the couple had left. Then, I noticed they were in a "cave" area where, duh, people who climb inside caves can do some climbing. This is the point where I really came to understand the two kids.
The young woman was laying on her back on a mat. The guy was sitting next to her. And, no, it wasn't one of those awkward deals where two people are uncomfortably physically affectionate in public. Not like the other night at an amusement center where some skanky girl was sitting on her boyfriend's back giving him a massage. Nothing like that.
The climber dude was talking, quietly, and the climber girl was listening...literally, wide-eyed with a smile that I struck me in the heart. It was the hopeful smile that comes with new love...love unfettered by problems and compromise...love that comes with hanging on the meaning of every word the other person says because you love how they listen so closely to everything you say.
I don't know that I've ever felt that love and, now, I'm 50 years old and the notion of love uncluttered by the mess that life can bring is long gone. But, for young people starting out...anything remains possible.
I don't think the young couple every even really touched each other in the gym. But, they are clearly very much in love. They didn't talk loudly. They didn't touch and grope. They didn't do any of the things I've seen couples in their 20s do to so they have a relationship of worth. But, I'm sure, they really care about each other.
Her hopeful smile gave it away.
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